Busyness
has become a trendy epidemic. And I think it’s slowly killing us. I’m almost
afraid of asking friends to get together nowadays; I know it could be weeks
before we find a date on the calendar that mutually works.
What
are we so busy with that’s pulling us away from human connection?
Busyness
has taken a large hold of my life, so much so that I’m fearful of the
consequences. A few weeks ago I went away for the weekend to Seattle with my
husband. On arrival he dropped me off at the hotel and went to find a parking
spot, and I headed up to our room and waited there for a good thirty minutes
while he trawled the streets for an optimal space.
As
I waited for him alone in the room I realized I had nothing to do — probably
for the first time in weeks, or even months. Within minutes I felt bored and
was reaching for my phone, feeling annoyed when I didn’t have the password for
the hotel Wi-Fi. In that panicked moment of what do I do now?
And
then suddenly it hit me: I’m addicted to being busy.
Which
is ironic because there has been so much advancement in technology that is
based on simplifying my life to reduce that hectic pace. My smart phone, with
its apps, is like an appendage. I depend on it to give me what I need, and
fast. With it I can multitask so much better than I could a decade ago.
I
should have plenty of downtime for my family and friends, right?
Life on Overdrive
The
accessibility of smart phones and all the accompanying apps; ultra high speed
internet, and the many modern conveniences that claim to make life faster and
easier, have only left us with higher expectations and busy lives.
We
are now able to pack more into our lives, and put pressure on ourselves to do
so. But at what cost? Real human connection? Our health?
Technology
advancements have helped lead us down this path but are they entirely to blame?
When I compare my life to my mother’s at my age it’s like I’ve hit the playback
button on my video stream. I can’t blame that on technology alone, so why is my
life so much busier than hers ever was?
The Need for More
In
the 1970s my mother kept a home and raised three kids. She didn’t work until we
were all much older. Her social life revolved around friendships, the
wall-mounted telephone, and the dinner table. Her world was so much smaller.
If
my mother wanted to connect with someone she had to call them or knock on a
door. She had to make the time for real conversation. Yes, those connections
were few — she didn’t have the 700 Facebook friends I have — but they were
real, consistent and regular.
But
I want so much more than that. I want the career, the kids, the house, the
social life, the vacations, the clothes … I could go on.
The
problem is that society and technology have made it easier for us to have more.
And the more we have, the more we want; the more want, the more we have to do
to get it. We aren’t busy because we love the stress; we’re busy because we’re
all trying to keep up with one another.
And
why do we want to keep up? Because our real human needs have never changed — we
want to belong, and to be accepted, seen and loved.
Authentic Living
How do we live authentically? In our efforts to
use “busyness” as a way to keep pace with the people around us and feel like we
belong, are we in fact disconnecting ourselves from what we truly desire?
It
begins with living out of our core values. Does the pressure
to put our kids in five activities a week come from a value, say, of connection
and joy, or from a desire for our child to be just as good at baseball as
Johnny next door?
And
what will that child remember more: being pushed to excel in baseball, or
laughing around the family dinner table?
When
our lives are overloaded we need to start asking some hard questions about why
we do what we do. Is it because the things we fill our life with bring us
contentment and joy, or because we can do more, so we just do?
Slowing Down
Society
is racing ahead at 100 miles an hour, but our hearts and brains don’t know how
to keep up. Our needs are no different now than they were a century or
millennium ago.
There
is so much opportunity around us — it’s like being offered a whole cake at once
instead of just a slice. But we don’t know how to eat the whole cake and feel
good; so we need to learn to accept just a slice at a time.
Perhaps
that one slice looks like concentrating on pursuing a dream, or connecting with
family, or both. But it’s not everything all at once.
The
opportunity to do more is a wonderful thing, but if we’re too “busy” rushing
from one thing to the next to be able to slow
down and enjoy the moment, it loses its value entirely. I think I
need to take my own advice.
What
does your “busy” look like? If your life is on overdrive, are the things
keeping you busy in line with your core values?
Design
a simple life. Start here. Start now.
You
can design a life of less—and more. More of what you love, less of what you
don’t. It’s a process, and we’re all in it together. We have created a 30-day
email course that will inspire + encourage you on your journey
